Disability Isn’t a Bad Word

It’s Disability Pride month and if anyone read my June blog post you’ll know that I’ve started using a cane sometimes. I’m still grappling with using the word disabled to describe myself, but I’m getting there. 

Talking with my wife and friends has made me realize though, that this isn’t new. I’ve kind of always been disabled and just didn’t realize it. 

There’s the whole matter of whatever is happening with my legs that is giving me mobility issues. That’s certainly a disability and the reason I finally started calling myself disabled. 

However, that isn’t the only thing that makes me disabled. I’m type 1 diabetic, which is an autoimmune disorder, which is certainly a disability. It affects every aspect of my life. I can’t just eat something without thinking about it first. I need to check my blood, figure out how many carbs are in whatever I’m eating, and then do the proper amount of insulin for my blood and food. It might not sound that hard but having to do it for everything I eat can be tedious. And when I’m eating out or getting takeout, I have to guess how many carbs are in my food. Then there’s the fat content I have to worry about and adjust insulin depending on that. It can be a pain. 

It’s not just counting carbs either. Diabetes can affect so much. It can affect my organ function. I have to be so careful with my feet and make sure I don’t walk around barefoot or get an infection. I also heal slower because of it. Like it’s not a problem anymore because I’ve been diabetic for almost twenty years, but it’s still something that affects my day to day life. 

Then there’s mental health. Having mental health issues also counts as disability. I can work a full time job, but many can’t. I have to go to therapy, take medication, use skills. It’s all consuming. I have to do so much to take care of it. 

Now none of this is to complain. I’ve come to terms with all of it. I’m just saying being disabled is work. I have to calculate how much doing something is going to wipe me out and affect me the next day. I can still go on walks, but I have to bring a cane. I can still eat the pizza, but I’m going to have to do extra insulin. 

However, disability isn’t a bad word. I personally am trying to own it.